Oi oi, SMASHERS! Tis I - Brian the Rainbow! 
I am 5 years old and live in a cute 70s bungalow with a yellow door and snazzy net curtains! Where’s that, Bri? I hear you shouting. Why Brian the Rainbow Town, legends!
My front door is always open so you smashers can pop by any time you like! I’ll whop out the hostess trolley, wheel in the goods and we can squish on the sofa to watch loads of telly. Classic.
Here’s some stuff I love:
What do you do for work Bri? Oh - mates - I run a super cute biz called Jennie Sergeant Designs. Dunno why it ain't called Brian the Rainbow Town though 
MATES, you are all my best pals. If you ever need owt don’t forget my door is always open. Or just give me a ring on 8008135 and I will screech up in my fun bus, scoop you up and we will have the best time. Pinkie promise.
Right. The boss is coming. You ain't seen me…